What, you thought the Black Rock City Post Office just ran on bribes? Those insatiable postalites may never get enough playa schwag, but like any other theme camp they need cold, hard cash to provide their disservices to our fair municipality.
“Although we like bribes, Frankly, [ed. note: we don’t know who Frankly is] you can’t run a post office serving thousands of Playans on kickbacks alone,” exclaimed Post Office organizer Nutmeg Alfreado. So Nutmeg and his merry marksmen looked to the Founding Fathers for help. No, not Larry, the ones who have been dead long enough to be immortalized in green and black.
To get hold of those dead presidents, Nutmeg posted a plea for help on the electronic bulletin boards of e-Playa and Tribe.net.
His plaintive call attracted the attentions of Dragonfly and Meshugganah from the Black Rock City Travel Agency, which spends countless gallons of precious fuel taking Burners up in airplanes to see the event from high above. In the past Dragonfly, a certified flight instructor had been asked by various parties to facilitate their membership in the Mile High Club. Cavorting among the clouds tickles Dragonfly’s fancy, and for the past few years, he has elevated Burners to a higher plane of debauchery, digital photos included.
“Where there’s a couple willing to get off in the confines of what little space there is on a four- or six-seat airplane you will most likely find a pilot willing to accommodate them” says Dragonfly.
Now it’s one thing for an avid couple to arrange a little heavenly nookie for themselves, but a far more Burner-ly experience would be if a lucky pair (or ménage?) was GIFTED its moment in the sun. That’s exactly what happened in 2002 when unsuspecting newlyweds were taken to the airport, escorted onto a plane and told “this pilot will take care of you.”
After a little back-and-forth, the happy couple returned to Black Rock City, and the story spread by word of mouth. Soon Draggonfly and Meshgganah were inundated with requests to arrange more package tours.
When Nutmeg Alfredo put out his call for cash, the penny dropped with Dragonfly and Meshugganah, who suggested the flights could be used to finance the Post Office. The idea took off: the Post Office sold $10 raffle tickets — Alfreado won’t tell us how many without a bribe — and three lucky couples have booked flights for this summer. Their names are being withheld to protect the innocent, but after they hit the ground this summer, they’ll be less innocent, and we’ll try to get you some photos.
If you weren’t one of the lucky winners, there’s another chance. The organizers of the Critical Tits bicycle ride are doing a silent auction for a 2005 Mile High flight at their fundraiser in San Francisco. If you still want to win a chance to get up there get your bids in while you get your groove on. Woo that playa hottie with a trip in the clouds. Truly one of Burning Mans more creative fund raising endeavors.
Critical Tits Fundraiser dates and times:
Thursday, June 23 2005 – Friday, June 24 2005
Location: RICKSHAW STOP
155 Fell Street (between Van Ness and Franklin)
For more detailed info on the Mile High adventures contact the Minister of Mile-High Operations at: dragonfly[at]blackrocktravelagency.org