By Tony Tohono
By now we’ve all seen that the Burning Man organization keeps posting about how not everyone is going to get a ticket this year. We also hear a lot of people telling us to calm down and stop stressing out and being so negative. And yes, it’s usually a bunch of assholes that already have tickets telling us this. To the former I say, “Thanks for screwing this up so bad.’’ To the latter I say, “If you assholes would have stuck with ordering one pair of tickets this situation wouldn’t be so screwed up so why don’t you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up.’’
If you are one of the unfortunate many that do not have a ticket I’m here to alleviate some of your stress. The end of the world is not coming until December this year so you can still pull off going to Burning Man one more time. If you want to go, and you’re willing to be patient and put forth a little extra effort, you’re most likely going to be able to get your own golden ticket.
The more time that passes, the more I thoroughly believe this. Just remember, you’re going to have to work for it and/or shell out some extra bucks (like $390 and fees).
Step One: Be patient. Don’t jump the gun and start looking at ticket scalping sites. Looking at these sites is only going to cause undue stress. Remember; no one has tickets yet so the people listing them are just creating a false sense of panic. This is the way the speculators drive up prices. If we all remain calm and refuse to buy into this atmosphere of panic we can crush the bastards under our collective foot.