Daily Archives: August 24, 2014

Welcome to NowHere

By Smash

Each year Black Rock City arises anew on the playa, like an oasis glimpsed through the haze by a bedraggled and dehydrated caravansary. What better way to discover a new city than by scavenger hunt? Put down your rebar, go for a stroll, and see if you can find the following:

Bad Advice
Photo by Clarity. Can you find Zero, a member of the Gate, Perimeter and Exodus Department?
  • A middle-aged naked man riding a Segway.
  • Something wrapped in bacon.
  • Someone falling off art.
  • A mewling kitten hiding in the engine compartment of a rental truck. (True story. It was rescued by a kindly Ranger, a veterinarian in the default world, who protected it in her tent from the prying and petsick eyes of a certain Beacon reporter.)
  • A woman who invites you to suck booze from a tube attached to her tit.
  • Cosmiquarium Village (“where the mysteries of the deep intermingle with the wonder of the stars.”).
  • Camp Magic Pancakes.
  • A young man wearing a flower pot on his head. (We met him last year when we offered a prize to the first burner bringing a Devo-related item to Camp Beacon. When he appeared, we asked if he was excited to win the contest. “What contest?” he replied.)
  • Grover Norquist.
  • A pirate ship, or someone dressed as a pirate.
  • Alien Siege Machine (where “crews are enslaved and driven by a mysterious rancor to pilot the machine into battle”).
  • Someone dispensing advice. (Last year I talked to God in a phone booth on the Esplanade. I told him I was thinking about giving up bacon because I love animals. But I was torn, as eating bacon makes me feel at one with the universe. God said, “You have answered your own question.”)
  • A caravan of giant teapots.
  • Genital Portrait Studio. (“Your session may include a number of props and positions, and you can walk away with your very own Genital ID card.”)
  • Camp Russian Roulette. (“We will turn people into Russians and Russians into people.”)
  • A 24-foot tall genie bottle.
  • A shirtcocker. (Urban Dictionary: “A guy at the Burning Man Festival who walks around with a shirt on and no pants, with genitalia exposed.”)
  • Someone taking a photo of someone taking a photo.
  • Your soul.

Proceed to Beacon HQ (1:30 @ Center Camp, near Playa Info) and tell us what you found. Prize: A copy of Tuesday’s issue, and a big dusty hug.

(Camp and art descriptions are from the Burning Man website.)